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Having trouble with forgiveness?
No problem. You’re not alone!
Here’s Your solution:
Forget About It!
You read that right.
Forget Forgiveness!
There! I said it!

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Forget forgiveness??  What on earth?!?!?!
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Ok – Ok – just hear me out – just for a moment.
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Speaking of hearing me out –
Here’s an MP3 in case you prefer to listen.

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Ok – back to reading…
If you read last week’s article (click here to view it) then you are aware of my interpretation of the four lies we believe about forgiveness. Those lies hold us back from creating the freedom we deserve and desire.
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It’s my belief that the word ‘forgiveness’ has all these associations (lies) tied to it in our hearts and minds.
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We don’t really understand it anymore
You know – kind of like the words ‘friend’ and ‘love’.
Our definitions are a bit mixed up.

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Because of that – when we hear the word, forgiveness, our spirits, our bodies, our subconscious, and our conscious minds get all messed up.
We tense up.
We say yes to forgiveness with our mouths but the rest of us puts up such a fight that 5 years down the road we’re still stuck.
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Here’s my solution:
Instead of the word ‘forgiveness’ I use the word ‘release‘.
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Here’s what I mean..
When I say I forgive someone I mean these three things:
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1) I release that person from my grip of vengeance.

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Now the truth is – I’m Italian. 1/2 Sicilian and 1/2 Calabrese.
I can do revenge… I can do revenge real good and for a looonnng time.
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But – when I forgive someone – I make a conscious choice to release that person from the threat of my personal revenge.
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2) I release that person into the grip of my higher power.
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We have people of all positions of faith and non-faith in our community.
Perhaps you have some idea of a power that is higher than yourself.
Perhaps you believe in the laws of karma, energy, or the universe.
Perhaps you believe in God, Allah, Brahman, or some other expression.

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No matter what that is for you.
Do you believe that an injustice will be taken care of in some way at some time?

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I’ve been through a TON of injustice in my life.
I have not personally seen justice acted out for most of those situations.
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I do, however, have to trust at if retribution is supposed to happen, then at the right time it will.
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I also have to understand that I am not the one to act on that – in most cases.
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Now I have to make a few clarifications:
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First: Should all honorable forces on the earth fight against injustice such as the Holocaust, the Khmer Rouge, and Isis?
YES!
I believe we should fight against these forces.
We cannot sit idly by and watch others be brutally killed.
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When I say that I’m not the one to bring about justice, I’m not necessarily referring to large scale social injustices that must be halted with a large scale response. I believe that we should and indeed MUST act collectively on behalf of others who need our help.
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Second: Should we address slander or wrongful acts against us?
Should we confront abuse and violations?
Yes, of course.
We should represent ourselves honorably and seek to gain back what has been taken from us.

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There is a difference, however, between addressing the wrongful act, as opposed to going after the person with a vengeful destructive heart. When we act in destructive ways, it only makes our own experience worse and hardly ever gives us the outcome we desire.

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3) I release myself from the grip of hatred, fear, and revenge.

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Let’s face it. Who does unforgiveness hurt the most?
That’s right!
The one who harbors it.
That would be you and me.
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In most cases, the person who is unforgiven has no idea and couldn’t care less anyway!

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Unforgiveness is poison in the heart, mind, soul, and body of the person who gives it a home.
It holds us captive.
It limits our growth.
It takes over our conscious and subconscious minds.
It binds us so tightly that even our breathing is limited.
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Why would we want something so terrible for ourselves?
Why not choose release?

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Let’s review:
If Forgiveness is a challenge – simply think of it as Release instead.

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Forgiveness is:
Releasing the person from our personal vengeance.
Releasing the person into the hands of our higher power.
Releasing ourselves from the grip of hatred, fear, and revenge.
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Next week we’ll talk about how to give and receive forgiveness … I mean release.
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In the meantime – what are you thoughts?
Do you think of forgiveness as release?
Is there another way you think of forgiveness that helps you and that you think will help others?
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Share it with us in the comments section.

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Be sure to share your perspective in the comments! Your voice matters!
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To join our community and snatch up your copy of LouAnn’s strategy framework:
‘Create the Life your Truly Desire: 5 Easy Steps’
simply fill out the form below.

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