Have you ever walked into a room and sensed you were being talked about?
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Sometimes it’s fun, especially right before your birthday.
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Other times, however, it’s painful – like a stab in the heart.
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I’ve felt the pain of being talked about a lot over the years.
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Today I offer you 5 principles to take the power away from backstabbing and put it back into yourself so you can get on with creating your dreams.
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Transcript:
Hey there.
I’m LouAnn Stropoli and I’m the founder of Inspirational Leading Academy, a collaborative Amazon #1 best seller, and I help people take the Stop out of their Start.
Allow me to ask you a question. Have you ever been talked about? Sometimes being talked about is awesome. For instance, right before a big birthday. You see your friends whispering in a corner and you just wonder if some really fun surprise is coming your way.
Other times you see people whispering in a corner and it doesn’t feel as good. Other times some talk comes back to you through the loop of your friends – Something that’s hateful, Something that’s a lie, Something that feels like a stab in your heart.
Have you ever felt that? I have certainly felt the pain of being talked about.
You see last week we talked about the connection between the lips, the brain, and the heart and we talked about that in relation to kissing – and we talked about how kissing and the lips can bring a whole lot of fun in our lives.
See those same lips and the same brain, connected to the same heart, can also be used to produce pain, and to produce hatred and nastiness, and it never feels good when we’re talked about. And it doesn’t matter who does it. It just is not a fun experience.
So today I offer you 5 points of reflection that will give you power when somebody’s talking smack about you
First:
I learned this from Darren Hardy, who learned this from a friend, who read it in an article:
Darren says this: When somebody upsets you or talks badly about you simply ask this one question: Will this person cry at my funeral?
Now, Darren’s friend learned in this article when a person dies, on average, there will be 10 people who care enough to cry at their funeral.
And he said the deciding factor as to whether they will go to the burial site is the weather. Whether or not it’s raining. So Darren just simply asks himself
When someone is treating him badly or talking badly about him, Will this person cry when I die?
And I would add another perspective: When someone’s talking badly about you ask this question: Will you cry when that person dies? Now it’s ok to admit that probably the answer is no.
So, first thing we want to do when someone is talking smack about us is just assess our relationship. If they’re not going to cry when you die and you’re not going to cry when they die, then you can probably fluff it off very easily.
Second: Remember this truth: “Hurting people hurt others at a far greater value than they were originally hurt.
We’ve all heard that saying, ‘hurting people hurt others’. But it’s no entirely accurate because what happens is people get hurt and then they fester and they fester. Sometimes for years or a lifetimes. And when that hurt finally bursts out of them often times it’s in hatred or awful talk about somebody else. When that hatred bursts out of them it’s a a far greater level than of what than of what they were originally hurt
So when somebody is talking badly about you or telling lies or being hateful. It’s almost always because they are feeling hurt inside of themselves and that hurt almost always has nothing to do with you. It has something to do with their past that is not yet resolved.
Now we do want to assess our behavior and make sure there isn’t anything we can learn from that person’s perspective. You know it’s said that our enemies are our greatest teachers. But, given that: If somebody is talking badly about you If that person as in a good place – Wouldn’t that person just talk to you directly instead of talking to other people about you?
So, when someone’s talking smack about you just remember that people who are hurting inside are going to hurt others at a far greater value than they were originally hurt. They just haven’t figured out how to heal.
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1) Asses Your Relationship
2) remember that hurting people hurt others at far greater values than they were originally hurt
Three: Forgo the defense
Now, it’s SO easy to want to defend ourselves when somebody’s talking about us or talking a lie or saying mean things. But what often happens when we do Is that we end up looking like the person that that person is describing.
Defending ourselves rarely works to lift up our reputation and restore what’s been said that’s wrong. If, however, we can stay calm and we can stay loving, and we can respond affectionately, then there are no words that can hurt us said by other people. Not in the long-term at least. Maybe initially, but how we respond to those words has much more to do with our reputation than the original words themselves. So forgo the defense as much as you possibly can
Four: Take it as a Compliment.
Now what do I mean by that? Everyone who’s ever achieved any success has said that without people talking about you or complaining about you, you have not done anything of any significance. See if you’re not dong anything to stir the pot or challenge the status quo or rise above what you previously were, then people have nothing to say about you. But of you’re growing and you’re learning and you’re expanding and truly being who you are then people are going to talk. So whenever someone says a hatred word or talks smack about you or turns a snobby shoulder your way, just simply see it as a compliment because all it means is that you’re making change and you’re doing something great
Five: Remember Who You Are.
Now when people talk badly about other people all it means is that they don’t understand the Magnificence of each individual human. You see each one of us is a created work of art. Each one of us is magnificent and beautiful and powerful and creative imaginative. Each one of us can change the world. Each one of us can change the circles around us. Each one of us can make a difference. So when people talk badly about other people, those people are simply forgetting that every single human being is a magnificent, creative, powerful work of art. If we would simply remember that every time we see another person, then all of our relationships will elevate in their quality
So when someone talks badly about you or lies or spreads hatred, don’t let it bother you because you know who you truly are.
So thee you have it.
Five principles to take the power away from backstabbing and smack-talking and put it back into yourself so you can get on with your day, get on with your life, get on with creating your dreams.
As we say in our Academy
Be Inspired! Be Inspirational! Be a Leader!
You’re changing someone’s life simply by being you.
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As we always say in our community
Be Inspired!
Be Inspirational!
Be a Leader!
You’re changing someone’s life simply by being you.
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