How to Develop Self-Love

Posted by on Mar 25, 2015 in Blog | 0 comments

How to Develop Self-Love

There’s an epidemic in our country.
It’s called dislikitis.

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It goes like this for most women:
we catch a glance of
* ourselves in the mirror

* a photo someone else posts of us on Facebook
* a recollection of a conversation gone bad

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That uneasiness in our stomach begins. An ache builds in our heart.

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Glamour magazine did a study in 2014 and discovered that 13%  more women than in 1984 are unhappy with their bodies.
80% say just looking in the mirror makes them feel bad.
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80% !?!?!?! You’ve got to be kidding me!!!!

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Even my own FB posts where I invite our community members to list things they like about themselves often return the sound of crickets…..
I mean I like crickets and all (I grew up on a farm) but…..

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What’s going on?

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How have women lost the ability to see their own unique magnificence?
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How have we forgotten that we were created to be fascinating and joy-filled and in awe of this very creation called ‘me’?

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If I were a therapist we would delve into the why and the history that brought us to this point.
Therapist is somethin’ I’m not, however.
Never could spend much time in the past and like it.

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I’m a coach. I like to move towards the end zone.

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With that goal in mind we’re going to explore a few ways in which we can learn to love ourselves more.

 

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1. Make a list of 10 things you love about yourself.

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This list should include physical aspects, personality traits, character qualities, successes in your personal or work life… anything you can think of that you like about you. At minimum you should have at least 10. Write these things down.

 

2. Ask a close friend or lover to tell you what s/he loves about you.

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It’s often the case that others see things about us that we do not. Take these things that you learn and add them to your list.

As a side note, if your lover can’t tell you what these things are and then get lost in a long crazy kiss, then you may want to consult the therapist referred to above or simply move on. You deserve to be loved deeply and passionately. Don’t settle for less!

 

3. Read this list everyday – several times a day.

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It’s important to get this truth ingrained in our subconscious. That’s really where our self-dislike lies. (That’s not therapy it’s neuro-caoching :=) ) It’s deep down in our neuronic (that’s my word, I think) activity where our beliefs are set. It’s takes a lot of repetition and retraining for our subconscious to learn the truth when it’s heard lies for so many years.

 

4. Look in the mirror. Yes, I said look in the mirror!! NAKED!

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Look and enjoy. The body you have been given is a gift for living this awesome thing called life.
It takes us anywhere in the world we tell it, it enables us to care for and show love to others, it gives us pleasure through a myriad of senses. Look at your body and thank it for housing your spirit.

If you see something you don’t like, then be kind. Recently I looked in the mirror and noticed my tummy, which I would like to slim down. I just looked there and said, “All that is is a little bit of fat that I will burn off. That’s all.”

I left the room feeling quite empowered. No – I’m not at my goal weight and I’m not yet fitting in the dress I want to wear next month at my big schindig. But I love my body – thin, not so thin, tall, not so tall, wiggly or firm. Whatever. It’s mine and I love it!

You should like yours too cause yours is just as awesome to you as mine is to me.

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5. Enjoy the gift of intimacy.

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Now some folks get uncomfortable when we talk about such things. I’m not trying to make you feel uncomfortable. But… let’s face it. If you were supposed to not like sex, then God wouldn’t have made it so awesome and beneficial. Forget about being self-conscious when you’re with your partner. Get over yourself and get into the fun. The more you enjoy what your body has to offer, the more you will appreciate your body.

 

6. Exercise

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Exercise not in order to make your body something you will finally like. If you don’t love your body now, you will have a hard time leading it to where you want it to be. (remember  – love is a key ingredient to exceptional leadership).  Exercise not because you don’t like your body, but because you love it. You may have seen the video I posted a while back, One word to help you create your fitness success. Spoiler alert: that word is love.

Exercise as a way of saying to your body, “I love you. I will take care of you. I want you to be strong for a very long time.”

 

7. Make time for YOU!

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We’ve seen it over and over again. Moms who forget they’re just as important as their kids. Or corporate women who forget that the overtime she’s working is killing her relationships and that she will pay a heavy price in as little as 6 months when her friends have all moved on.

A friend of mine was given this piece of advice when leaving the hospital after giving birth:
“Jessica, remember that you are not just Henry’s mom. You are Jessica first.”

Are you making time for you? The best gift we can give our kids, our significant others, our businesses, and our employers, is the gift of being refreshed and well cared for. We hold that responsibility. No one can do it for us.

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Ok – this is a lengthy post so I’ll stop there for my part.

If you missed last week’s post was about Why we should love ourselves. You can catch it HERE.

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What are you’re ideas for ways we can love ourselves more?
Please let us know in the comments section.
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There is no need for any of us to be a part of that 80%.
Let’s end that epidemic. One Inspirational Leader at a time.

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Always remember:

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Be Inspired! Be Inspirational! Be a Leader!

You’re changing someone’s life simply by being you.

 

See you in the comments!
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Glamour Magazine Article

Photo credit: http://www.genovic.com/i-love-me-wallpaper-hd-wallpapers.html

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